


Death: And So It Goes

by gardenofmaris



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Future Polyamory, M/M, Other, Post-Break Up, Talking all night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenofmaris/pseuds/gardenofmaris
Summary: Lotor paused, clearly considering his next words.“I am afraid that I don’t currently have a bed to lay in.”Oh. Now Lance understood. There had been some tension between Lotor and Allura, something that all the Paladins had been gossiping about behind closed doors. It seemed that the tension had finally broken, but not in a very good way.“I’m sorry.”Lotor sighed, slumping forward slightly and offhandedly waving Lance in. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I brought this on myself.”





	Death: And So It Goes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Voltron zine Greater Secrets, which can be found at:  
> https://twitter.com/vldtarotzine  
> Today is the posting day, so there are tons of fics and art on that twitter.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

Lance hummed softly as he meandered through the halls of the darkened castleship. He’d had a tremendous amount of trouble sleeping and instead of staring at his ceiling until he went insane, he decided to wander around until he finally got tired.

It was only when he passed an empty viewing room that he paused, peeking inside. The lights were dim, but they were on, and Lance could see Lotor’s unmistakeable form silhouetted against the glow of space outside. Lotor was leaned into his arm, propped up by the back of a couch. His shoulders shook, and Lance felt sympathy tug at his heart.

“Hey,” he called softly, leaning into the doorway and poking his head into the room. “Want some company?”

Lance hadn’t even realized that there were soft sounds coming from Lotor until they stopped. He saw Lotor’s back tense, head turning slightly to look in Lance’s general direction.

“I did not realize that you were there, Blue.”

“Not for too long.” He trailed off, the  ‘ _ if that’s what your worried about _ ’ hanging in the air between them.

“It is late. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

Lance smiled. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Lotor paused, clearly considering his next words.

“I am afraid that I don’t currently have a bed to lay in.”

_ Oh _ . Now Lance understood. There had been some tension between Lotor and Allura, something that all the Paladins had been gossiping about behind closed doors. It seemed that the tension had finally broken, but not in a very good way.

“I’m sorry.”

Lotor sighed, slumping forward slightly and offhandedly waving Lance in. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I brought this on myself.”

Lance padded to the couch Lotor was sitting on, resting himself with one leg on the couch as he turned to face Lotor more completely. “Do you want to talk about it?”

A pause, then a shake of his head. “Not particularly.”

“That’s okay. What _would_ you like to talk about?”

Lotor bit his lip in contemplation and Lance forced himself to look away, reminding himself that the Galra prince was hurting and this was  _ not _ the time to let his dick do all the thinking.

“I would like to hear stories from your Earth, if you would like to tell them.”

Lance was taken aback. “Earth? Are you sure?”

Lotor nodded. “Yes. You all speak of it with such longing and nostalgia, and I’ve always wondered what it was about the planet that could inspire such… love.”

There was something raw in that last word, a vast loneliness that Lance couldn’t even begin to comprehend. All at once, he remembered the predicament Lotor was in, with a genocidal maniac for a father and a mother that hated his very existence. It struck a cord in his heart, and he wanted so bad to wrap Lotor up in affection and show him that he wasn’t a burden, that he wasn’t useless. That he was loved and cared about here on this ship, even if things had gotten off to a really rocky start.

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

Lotor turned to Lance inquisitively, and Lance noticed quietly the way his eyes were swollen and droopy. He looked so tired.

“Thank you, Blue.”

Lance smiled, wiggling around to make himself more comfortable. “Okay so… Something about Earth. Have you ever heard about oceans?”

“I know of them, yes.”

“Good, that’s a good start.” His smile brightened. “Well, where I grew up, we were really close to the ocean. I mean, it’s an island, so we’re pretty much always surrounded by water. That’s not the point though. Have you ever gone swimming in an ocean just for fun?”

Lotor shook his head. “I know that other species partake in it, but I was always too preoccupied to try it.”

Lance tutted. “Well, next planet that we’re on with a safe ocean, I’m taking you swimming. It’s always really fun, especially when you go looking for different types of shells.”

“Shells?”

“Yeah. They’re everywhere on the beach, and it was always a contest between my brothers and sister and me to see who could find the prettiest one.”

Lotor nodded slowly. “Are they viewed as valuable in your culture?”

Lance laughed. “Nah. You know us stupid humans, we’re just really sentimental. I mean, sometimes, Mami would make some really pretty jewelry from the best shells and sell them, but it was never much more than some spare change to buy a pop or a quick bite.”

“That sounds beautiful.”

“It really was. Although, sometimes it would be more funny than beautiful.”

“How so?”

Now that brought up some good memories. “Well, there was this one time that me and Veronica were competing to see who could get more shells within a certain amount of time. And Veronica was winning by like, a lot. But she wasn’t paying attention to the waves, which was a rookie mistake.” He started chuckling, remembering the simultaneous glee and worry that he’d experienced watching that wave come rushing towards his sister.

“Anyways, the wave took her down, and the shells went flying. I still remember her shriek. She literally tumbled head over heels in the water. And then of course I was laughing so hard at her that the next wave knocked me on my ass. We just gave up and tied instead so we could have a splash fight.”

He wiped away an imaginary tear at the memory, focusing solely on the happy part of the memory and not the bittersweet tinge that clouded it. After all, this was about making Lotor feel better, not drowning him in Lance’s own insecurities. It seemed to be working too, because when he looked up, Lotor had a small smile on his face and something in him seemed lighter, less sad.

“That does seem like a very good memory. It must have been interesting, to grow up with siblings.”

Lance nodded. “They’re a pain in my ass most of the time, but they’re not bad. They’ve been there for all the big things in my life before Voltron. There’s nothing like it.”

Lotor looked wistful. “Do you have any other stories, perchance?”

Lance grinned widely, nodding vigorously at the chance to help Lotor feel better. “Oh boy, do I ever…”

The time passed quickly as Lance regaled Lotor with his many escapades on Earth, from family to school to dates and everything in between. Lotor took it all in hungrily, obviously needing the comfort and the distraction. Neither of them realized the passage of the chronometer until the lights that signaled the equivalent of daytime turned on.

Lance stopped in the middle of his sentence, squinting up at the lights above him.

“Huh. I genuinely didn’t think we’d been talking that long.”

“No,” Lotor mused. “It certainly didn’t seem so long.”

It was only with that sudden realization of how much time had passed that Lance drooped forward, a loud yawn escaping him. He hadn’t gotten any sleep and his body was currently screaming at him.

“I should probably go to bed,” Lance murmured.

Lotor looked around, contentment erased as disappointment began to set in on his delicate features. “That’s understandable. I myself will probably see if I can achieve any sleep on this couch today. At least until I can find a new bedroom.”

Lance paused, standing over the couch and biting his lip in trepidation.

Should he do it?

Was it too presumptuous?

Or would it be welcomed?

_ Screw it _ , he decided.

“Come to my room,” he offered.

Lotor looked up at him in shock, eyebrows drawing together as he searched Lance’s face for something.

“Are you sure, Blue? I know that that is your own personal space, and I would not want to take advantage of that.”

Lance smiled, reaching out his hand. “Nah, you’re fine. Besides, it’s been a while since I slept with someone, and it’s always nice to know that there’s someone else beside you.”

Lotor’s eyes flicked between Lance’s face and hand multiple times, before he seemingly came to a decision. He nodded to himself, something Lance didn’t think he’d meant to actually do, before taking a deep breath and reaching up to grab Lance’s offered hand.

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Lance pulled Lotor up, staring up at him as he realized how tall he was in comparison to Lance. Something he couldn’t quite name yet crackled in the air between them, and he couldn’t help but suck in a breath. He suddenly felt awkward, not because of Lotor or the tension between them, but because of the ghost of Allura that stood in the room between them.

Lance’s Mami had plenty of things to say about people who took advantage of other people’s pain.

But Lance didn’t want anything but Lotor’s happiness.

Their walk to Lance’s room was companionable in its silence, the both of them walking so close together that their arms would brush against each other and their hands would inadvertently find each other. They never quite took that final jump and laced their fingers together, but Lance knew that he couldn’t be the only one wanting it.

The beeps of the keypad and the hiss of the door broke the silence, and the air around them suddenly became stifling. Lance’s eyes locked with Lotor’s, and the intense _longing_ there took his breath away. His mind raged in an internal war, locked in a furious battle of what was right and what was wrong. He wanted this so bad, and he could tell that Lotor did too. But did Lotor truly want _him_? Or did he want a warm body to help him forget his pain?

Lance opened his mouth to speak, noticing instantly how Lotor’s eyes zeroed in on the movement.

“I don’t--” he began, and Lotor’s face began to crumple. “I don’t want to be a… replacement for Allura.”

Immediately, Lotor’s face changed, something more hopeful but also confused.

Lance could feel his face reddening as he looked down and to the side, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t know if you knew this, but I’ve had feelings for you for a while. For you and Allura both, actually. But I knew that the both of you were together, and that neither of you would ever want me. And, you know, maybe I’m reading this all wrong, but it really seems like this is more than just a ‘crash at a friend’s place after a breakup’ scenario. And if that’s true, then I don’t want you to be here with me but thinking of Allu--”

His torrent of words was abruptly broken by Lotor crowding into him, lifting his head up to meet his eyes and slowly walking him backwards into the room. Lotor’s eyes _burned_ with the intensity in them, and Lance couldn’t breathe, pinned beneath his gaze like a butterfly.

“You are quite mistaken, Blue, if you believe that I see Allura when I am with you. You are beautiful, exquisite, and vastly different from the Princess. I should not have, but I often found my eye wandering to you when I was with Allura.” As if sensing what Lance was about to say, he should his head and reached out to gently grab Lance's shoulder. “That is not why we parted. In fact, though I never asked her, I believe I would not be amiss to assume that her feelings towards you ran on something more than simple friendship.”

Lance was gaping like a fish now, he knew.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

Lotor smiled wryly. “I want you to be fully informed before making the choice to let me into your room as something more than a friend. If you would prefer Allura, I will not make any untoward advances. If, however, you want me as much as I want you, there are many things that I have dreamed of.”

‘ _ Oh my god, I’m going to die _ ,’ he whimpered internally.

He couldn’t deny that even if he did want Allura, and she probably wanted him back, she wasn’t here. Still, he knew that Lotor wasn’t going to over her so quickly. The gears in his head were turning quickly, and the excitement of what was right over the horizon left him breathless.

“You want us both, don’t you?” he asked, making confident eye contact with Lotor.

“ _ Yes _ ,” he confessed breathily.

Lance grinned, reaching up to grab Lotor’s hair and pull him down into a searing kiss.

“We’ll work things out with Allura when we’ve slept,” he whispered against Lotor’s lips. “But until then, I want you here with me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter: @gardenofmaris


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